sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
