Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
my mouth tastes like poor choices
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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