I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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