"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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