I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
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She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
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If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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