okay pat passed out under dana's car
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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