hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
