you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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