i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
