How drunk are you??
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
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Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..