I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize