So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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