just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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