oh god the rape fog is back!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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