Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
