Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
