using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
