He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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