If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
