Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
