dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
