dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
