and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
