dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
