Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize