She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Acid is not a monday night drug
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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