But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
