the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
