where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
whose parrot is this?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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