I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize