The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
