I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
