I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
