how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
