I could have mohawked her pubes.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
