My friends, they love my intelligence
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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