from now on my penis is your penis
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
In other news, I just burned my penis
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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