I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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