my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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