I wanna passion pit in your ass
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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