Jerry, you need to find god
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
