I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
