I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
