We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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