I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
