So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
