Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize