If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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