I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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