she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize