when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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