..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Alive.
So much puke
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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