Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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