one might say we're banned from that church
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
