The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
