Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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