if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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