How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
